Keep Calm and Carry On – a crash course in combatting exam-xiety

By Josh Collins (part of the Reachout ASC team)

Keep Calm and carry on – A crash course in combatting exam-xiety

When I was growing up, the slogan ‘keep calm and carry on’ was seen on every marketable item available, parodied and spoofed more times than ways I’ve shoehorned my special interests into conversation. I even remember having a Star Trek poster as a teen that replaced the iconic messaging with ‘live long and prosper’ instead, both helpful messages whatever you may be going through.

The famous slogan took off at an uncertain and scary time for many as a message of comfort, reassuring the people of wartime Britain, possibly your grandparents or great grandparents, that we all face challenges best when we are level-headed and have faith that we are doing the best we can— keeping calm and carrying on. 

Anyone who has ever gone through a stressful period, which is everyone, will know that it is easier said than done, and autistic people know this better than most. Stress overloads our brains more easily, and a tendency to hyper fixate makes the stress worse. 

We can all agree, the pressure to excel in our SATs and GCSEs is second to none. We want to make our parents and teachers happy, we equally fear a potential punishment or judgement from them as well. We may also have strong plans about what we want to do leaving primary school or high school, and would understandably feel awful if we do not secure the school, college, or apprenticeship, we had in mind. 

It is a difficult time for almost everyone, and I am relieved I do not have to do it all again. I left high school 9 years ago, which means I have had a lot of time to reflect on these experiences and give you, the reader, the toolkit you need to deal with the exams and SATs period. 

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Mascots, are a fun way to ground yourself in the exam hall 

I remember for our SATs, we were all allowed to bring in a small item that would be our good luck charm. They all sat on a little table at the front, cheering us on as we scribbled away. I brought in a small Buddha statue that lived on our kitchen windowsill at the time, but it could be anything, and it definitely can be related to your special interest. 

Whether you believe in good luck or not, and whether schools allow you to do this now, having an item that brings you comfort has the power to get you through your exams. Autistic people naturally have an artillery of grounding strategies, they just don’t look like that to the average person. 

Whether it is stimming or engaging big time with your passions, think of them like an item you can touch and sense and bring it with you into the exam. Anything that keeps you grounded, anything that reminds you of the good times before, at present, and ahead, is a thought worth savouring. Those warm feelings are your beacons of light in the exam hall storm.

Know when you’ve done everything you can 

Fight the impulse to cram or study the day before. There will come a point where you will know you have done everything you can for your tests, exams, coursework, and you will know when this is when you’ve gone through all the subject matter of your exams. Before a big deadline, if you can, do something you enjoy, have a good dinner, and get some rest. This won’t be anything your parents, guardians, or teachers have not told you before, but sometimes all you need is a little reminder. 

Most importantly, cramming is a form of self-punishment, it fundamentally is your brain saying, ‘you don’t do enough’, which is not true at all. No one learns well when they are perpetually stressed, and down the line this could have worse consequences. Not only could it lead to burnout, but it can also lead to you associating study with stress when you are at college, university or in an apprenticeship. Most jobs require you to learn something one way or another, and what a sad world it would be if the joy and fulfilment of learning was spoiled because of SATs and GCSEs?

Invigilators are there to help you

Most of my classmates feared invigilators, and there are many jokes online about how situations where students hoped they’d be more helpful than they hoped. At the end of the day, they are humans just like you and me. They don’t go into the cleaner’s cupboard after you’ve handed your papers in, and they’ve collected all the loaned-out rulers and compasses. Invigilators have gone through the process just like you and I have, even to this day I have the occasional throwback to my exams, and they are highly empathetic to that. If you are feeling uneasy and need some fresh air, they can do that. If you’ve run out of water and your mouth is getting dry, they have you covered. There is always the chance that you may be catching someone on a bad day, but ultimately, they are there to help you. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need: their job is to help you if they can— ask and ye shall receive.

Grades only tell so much 

No matter what grades you get, nothing about you will have changed. You will be the same person when you leave the exam hall as you entered it. Grades are not a value of self-worth, and your examiners have no idea of the amazing individual that you are, all they see is a candidate’s answers and maybe about an hour’s worth of work. One hour of your life does not and never will define you.

If you do not get the grades you need to get onto the next step, there is always another way to reach your goals. Have a good chat about your goals with your parents, friends, and teachers, and see what you can find out about other plans. Having another plan in mind will help put your mind at ease about failing. In reality, exams such as SATs and GCSEs are a tool to get onto your next step to make your dreams come true, not a barometer on your worth as a human being. 

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No matter what stage of your life you may be in, keeping calm and carrying on is the way to go. Though it is never easy, knowing that you are doing your best to study and also to enjoy yourself do not go against each other, but actually work hand in hand to make your life more fulfilling and to help you tackle your exams head on.

Click here for a revision timetable

An Autistic Angle on Preparing Children for Secondary School

By Josh Collins (part of the Reachout ASC team)

A picture of Josh in the foreground with four of his friends, standing by a wall with trees in the background

Here I am with some of my friends.

It amazes me to think that it has been 8 years since I left high school and 13 years since my first day. I can’t help but think about how different of a time high school was for me, not just now, but when I was about to start back as a 10-year-old. Despite many efforts to prepare me for high school, there were still a lot of struggles that I experienced, especially earlier on in my high school life. 

Here, I will be sharing how I would have done things differently as well as what I would have done the same. 

Normalise that big jump 

Big life events always come sooner than you think. When I started year 6, choosing my high school seemed irrelevant, it felt like years away. Of course, as time drew nearer, I was still surprised that high school started at the time it did. That’s not to say no preparation was done, but it didn’t quite hit the mark. 

Although the transition from year 7 to 8 was equally as significant, as was the massive leap from that to preparing for my GCSEs, high school is the first time for many that a shift in academic lifestyle takes place. The commute is very different, a lot of pupils will likely be travelling a much farther distance than they were for primary school. Friends and social groups are torn apart when high schools are fighting for pupils and pupils are fighting for spaces. Routine is different, the high schools are much bigger, there are more margins for error, and teachers and parents will often play up the changes in a way that makes the change scarier than it actually is. What works for me as an autistic person is normalising the change as much as possible, as well as focusing on what will be staying the same as this happens. At the end of the day, everyone will be there to alleviate the worst parts of this transition, and autistic people are capable of making those changes, with the right support. Every child feels like the next step beyond them when it isn’t, and every child needs to be made aware of that change is possible. Lend an ear to concerns, plan together, and do something fun. 

From A to B, sort out your transportation needs

As an autistic person, even now, I recognise one dry run is not enough to feel confident enough to make my way to and from school on the bus. When I applied for my most recent job, I made at least 2 or 3 journeys just to make sure I was there on time for the interview. For me, I found that no matter what mode of transport you are taking, that the one practice attempt at getting there was never sufficient. Every morning journey is going to be slightly different, and being sensitive to change, it has always been beneficial for me to get the feel of a route and plan ahead if anything was to change drastically. It was all about learning the mean average route. Of course, you can pick it up on the way, but there is the stress of getting it all horrifically wrong. My dad had to take me on the first day after missing the bus and arriving an hour late. Of course, this meant that I missed an hour of introductions and breaking the ice as well. There is no shame if it takes you longer than usual to get used to certain routes and so on. If you can, get a lift or find a friend who you can shadow if you are going to the same school (or an older sibling or cousin). I was the oldest, so I missed out on that.  Practice makes something more predictable. 

Ask for the adjustments you need and find systems that help

I was always forgetting things at school, and although there was the option of having a locker, I knew that I would forget the key when I needed it most. One of the most helpful things my first school did for me was a box that I could access containing stationery, spare ties, exercise books, and miscellaneous items that I needed at school. If your child would find an arrangement like this useful, then talk to the SENCO of your school. I avoided many detentions this way, and hopefully your child would too. 

It’s worth having a sit down and looking at what helps others and seeing ways in which this could help you as well. 

Be extra (ordinary/curricular)

Whether it was primary school, high school, college, and even university, balancing extracurriculars were always a difficulty. I would either take part in no clubs or societies or simply too many. In high school, this was something I received awards for, and I am glad I had the chance to do many, but with being prone to burnout, I would find myself in bed for days in half term just to recuperate. Alternatively, FOMO and regret set in. I found that 2/3 extracurriculars were a good balance for me, one I really set my heart on, and 2 others that I did not put as much energy into. Any more than that, depending on how these commitments clashed or didn’t clash with each other.  Some autistic students can feel that clubs and extracurricular activities are not for them, or too scary to even try.  But I would really recommend trying some.  You just might find your friendship group there as you will be mixing with people who like the same things are you. 

Find out what clubs are available from the schools that are being considered as well as clubs for children in the local area. See how they can fit the activity to your specific needs, anyone can do anything with the right accommodations after all. 

Don’t be afraid to try things out that don’t sound great at first, or if it’s something your friend is doing and you’re not super into it. I have converted to many hobbies just because a friend was doing it, and I wanted to hang out with them. Even if you show up once, you have got out of your comfort zone, you will feel that much more confident in yourself. 

Conclusion

Lots of things are happening at this point in your life. It can be overwhelming, the fear of slipping up is real. The way I reassure myself is by thinking about how many people make this transition every year and have done, and how they all made it out the other end. With the right preparation, it won’t be a matter of survival, but rather flourishing. 

Links

Reachout ASC have developed our Social Detective packs, based on teaching autistic and other children about how we cooperate and understand each other, how we listen to one another and how we learn to read social information to make the best guesses about what is going on.  For more information or to order a pack go to https://reachoutasc.com/resources/social-skills-pack/

My autistic experience of friendships

By Josh Collins (part of the Reachout ASC team)

A picture of Josh in the foreground with four of his friends, standing by a wall with trees in the background

Here I am with some of my friends.

For me, an autistic person, at 24, I would say that I am in the golden age of friendships. Social occasions are more frequent than they are seldom. Parties, gatherings, catch-ups, and fulfilling conversations and events are not at all uncommon in my adult social life. If anything, I probably have a bit too much on. Considering that we are living through a ‘loneliness pandemic’ and having heard many people my age complain about unfulfilled social goals, the fact that I am at peak friendship is ostensibly exceptional and noteworthy.

Growing Up Autistic: A Different Reality 

However, growing up autistic, this was not the case. A lot of effort and soul searching was needed to get to this point. I want to share with you my story of how I got here and investigate why I had so much trouble in the first place. I call it an investigation because I want to understand why no one wanted to be my friend when I was much, much younger. I don’t think I will ever fully know; my brain was not developed to the point where I could have gathered the evidence and come up with a conclusion.

The Absence of Friends 

What I do remember is wanting friends and how that absence felt. What made it harder was a burning sense of avoidance. This often boiled into what felt at the time was anger. My working theory is that I was so overwhelmed and anxious about having friends, that it either became anger or was mistaken for the feeling of anger.

My Memory of Avoidance 

I remember being invited to a birthday party by a boy in my class. I had no reason to dislike him whatsoever. In fact, I had every reason to like him. I also could have gone to Puddle Town Pirates had I allowed myself to. That day, when I got home from school, I angrily stamped on the invitation and cried.

Why did I do this? Do kids just do weird things? Or was there something more? The whole cliché of ‘knowing I was different’ rung true for me, but as a child, I was too busy feeling for metacognition. Despite wading through the muddy waters of childhood impressions, what I have remembered and how I have remembered it will hopefully make you consider autistic relationships in a way you have not before.

The First Friend 

When it came to friends, I didn’t meaningfully have any until I was about eight. Here and there, my parents’ friends would have kids that I would interact with, and I was very close with my cousins as a baby. I made my first friend when I was making houses for the ants from twigs and leaves. Even though we both knew that ants had ant hills, not needing us to provide shelter, we spent the whole of lunch time watching the ants.

I remember the few words we exchanged that day:

“Do you have any friends?”

“No.”

“Me, neither… do you want to be friends?”

“Sure.”

I definitely see the humour and charming social obliviousness in asking someone if they have any friends now, but at the time, it really was how we connected. It was the thing we had in common, which I was taught was what friendships are built upon.

Learning to Embrace Differences 

Perhaps if I had the ability to meet a younger version of myself, I would encourage them not to just focus on what is similar, as we are often told, but to be helped to find a way to embrace difference in everyone.

A Diverse Social Circle 

These days, all of my friends are different, and none of them are the same. In fact, my main friend group is very diverse, and outside of that, the friends I have peripheral to my main sphere of influence are even more diverse. Knowing this skill earlier definitely would have helped me flourish.

Summing up this chapter of my life in one word would result in me painting the corridor walls of my old primary school with the letters **t r a g i c o m i c** in bright red. Autistic people are very much capable of appreciating the absurdity of their own behaviours, and this is empowering.

Sustaining Friendships 

Year 4 was around the time I was able to sustain a friend for longer than a few weeks. I would often find myself fighting and arguing over things I don’t remember now—topics that would have seemed so big at the time but are unequivocally small in retrospect. Some of these friends were bad influences as well.

The Influence of “Chris” 

One such example was a child I will call Chris, who taught me how to shoplift using sticks and stones from the very same part of the playground where I befriended my ant-friend. That ant-friend, incidentally, is someone I am friends with still to this day.

Autistic children are more than capable of navigating the world of friendships and relationships, given the right support. Not being plugged into the same socket as the rest of the appliances in the kitchen where friendships are made means that we are vulnerable to people who could take advantage of us. Additionally, it means that we think that people who are our friends aren’t our friends at all—and vice versa.

Trial and Error in Friendship 

It felt like I had to learn all of these rules through a cruel, gruelling process of trial and error. My friendship with Chris was off and on again up until Year 5, which concluded with a swift kick in the nuts from my leg. The last time I saw him was when I was invited to his house for tea. We watched YouTube videos and French dubs of The Penguins of Madagascar TV show, which we thought sounded hilarious at the time—all the while eating spaghetti hoops on toast.

I remember leaving his house early, limping home with a sore tummy, clutching onto my gut as I struggled back to my street, writhing in pain.

 

Teachers and Friendship Rules 

Teachers attempted to teach me the friendship rules, but they did so in a way that focused on the shameful and harrowing consequences of social faux pas. I speculate that this was how they were taught, knowing too many people who live in fear of losing perception points in a made-up game designed to make everyone feel bad.

Why Shame Doesn’t Work 

Shame is not a conducive or sustainable way to teach anyone, and autistic Josh at age 8 simply rebelled against it. No one taught me how to discern fake friends from real ones, often leaving me confused as I could not read the signs for myself.

A Cruel System 

We have enough information collectively as humanity; it is foolish to let anyone learn something so painfully through trial and error. Do we get children to learn every rule of mathematics from the basic principles ancient scholars had to find for themselves? When someone learns to drive, do we let them take the wheel and figure out what the gearstick and pedals do through experimentation?

If we did, fewer children would know Pythagoras’ theorem, and we would fear for our lives as we crossed the road.

Teaching the Tools for Socialising 

Yet, when it comes to socialising, almost everyone assumes they can be thrown into the deep end and know how to react to every single niche case. We are also capable of socialising. What we need help with is calibrating that sensor that tells us how to discern what people really mean—and for people to double-empathise and meet us halfway.

The Strengths of Autistic People 

For me, the worst injustice for autistic people is there being an untapped talent in every autistic person that would make them great friends:

A strong sense of justice is great for loyalty and for sticking up for friends.

Candidness can help facilitate important communication and hard discussions before it’s too late.

Special interests make us interesting.

Beyond that, the way in which every person mixes the ingredients of their autistic traits, and their self is different, and it would be immensely beneficial if teachers and parents were to tap into our natural strengths as opposed to going against them.

Golden Time and Friendships 

At golden time, I would often draw these people I thought were my friends, using paper from the recycled paper box. I would let my imagination run wild with us having superpowers and going on improbable adventures. I would storyboard it all out and conjure up my own comic strips.

I’m sure you can imagine, then, how it stung when I found out that friends were hanging out without me or had reasons to dislike me for reasons they kept secret from me. They would often break off into their own factions for what they called “private chats.”

Intensity and Friendships 

From the surface, my behaviour may have come across as obsessive. Tragically, this was one of the things that got in the way of me having friends as a child. Feeling very intensely about a friendship was an obstacle, as this intensity would often scare people off, or I would be too much for people.

My Best Traits Were Seen as Unbearable 

As a child, I was upset that my friends found my best traits unbearable. My unbound creativity and generosity were seen as overkill to many children—who you would imagine would like such things—but not if it came from an autistic child they didn’t see as one of their own.

A Teacher’s Unkind Advice 

I defiantly kept those traits, as my sense of justice led me to believe that I should be accepted as I was (which is what should be taught). However, at school, I was taught by my Year 6 teacher that I would be laughed **at**, as opposed to laughed **with**, if I acted the way I was when I went to high school.

The Burden of Preventing Bullying 

This has always irked me. It put the onus on me to prevent my own bullying when realistically this was the job of the teachers. Perhaps I could be generous and suggest that my teacher foresaw that my new high school would not act upon it, and that people are not kind; even then, I fully resent this sort of cynicism of school systems.

The Complexity of Social Interactions 

Looking back, I now understand what it is like to be overwhelmed by someone else. Having seen it from both sides, I can understand why someone would want to avoid a very overwhelming person, but I also understand that it is manageable if you have the right communications toolkit.

 

Concluding Thoughts 

As I near the end of this piece of writing, wishing I had more time and space to include more anecdotes and examples, I would ideally conclude with a list of best practices. Unfortunately, I am only an expert in myself (if I can even call myself one).

For those who have read to the end, what I can advise is that socialising as a child shares the same complexities and nuances as your adult relationships today. The way I make friends now would all have worked 15 years ago; the difference now is that I have those skills, and through my own processes and learning, have found a way to tap into the magic of friendships.

Links

Reachout ASC have developed our Social Detective packs, based on teaching autistic and other children about how we cooperate and understand each other, how we listen to one another and how we learn to read social information to make the best guesses about what is going on.  For more information or to order a pack go to https://reachoutasc.com/resources/social-skills-pack/

My experience of having a teaching assistant throughout my school years: An autistic adult’s perspective.

By Josh Collins: Our Newsletter writer at Reachout ASC

September 2024

A white, blond haired woman sitting at a school table next to a white, brown haired boy wearing glasses. There are sensory toys on the table.

Teaching Assistants can work 1:1 with some autistic children in schools.

 From my first day of reception to the final question on my third physics paper in June of 2016, I have had a teaching assistant sat beside me, or with me, in some capacity. For many across the country, a teaching assistant is going to be one of the people they spend the most time with.  I was not a unique case; this was also true for me.

Over my time, I have developed strong emotional bonds with teaching assistants. Other times, I have had the opposite; having either silently or very verbally wishing to have someone else in their place. Regardless of how I feel about them, they have all bagsied a plot of land in my memory and summative ideal of a teaching assistant.

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How do we support children with autism and complex needs in the early years?

Young child climbing through a play tunnel

Are you an Early Years teacher or teaching assistant?

Do you have children in your class that you are struggling to engage or understand their needs?  Do you think they might be autistic or have other SEND needs that you are not qualified to diagnose?

Are you struggling with the slow pace of getting help and assessments for some children?  Are there not enough hours in the day to work out how to adapt your teaching for such a variety of needs?

We have been privileged to work alongside many EYS teachers over the years and here myself and Alison Pettitt, our EYS autism specialist discuss some of the ways that every non-specialist teacher can build in teaching and learning activities for children who may be autistic.

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Being an autistic teen navigating sexuality by Dean Beadle

white male with wavy shoulder length hair and pale blue jacket

Dean Beadle is an autistic conference speaker, writer and singer. He has delivered over 900 talks in seven countries and has sung at balls, festivals and conferences in the UK, Ireland and Denmark. He is gay and can often be found adorned in tassels and sequins.

OK, I know you must be thinking “what on earth can some bloke in his thirties tell me about being a teenager?” How can someone old enough to remember Woolworths, Wizardora and Wendy Richard tell you anything about being a teenager in 2022? And you’d be right. It has been a hot minute since I was a teenager, and I’d be the first to admit that I know precious little about growing up in today’s world. BUT what I do know about is the process of making sense of your neurodivergence and your sexuality all at the same time. So, whilst we are from different generations, give me a chance, even if there’s just one of the following five points that’s useful in here, then it’s worth giving this blog a go.

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13 ways to encourage a child (or adult) with ADHD.

 

I want to explain why despite the effort, it seems like a person with ADHD might struggle to get things finished and how we can support them.

13 Ways to encourage poster – click here

People still think ADHD isn’t a real thing or a ‘naughty boy’ invention.  Or an excuse for bad behaviour.  Or something that children grow out of.  Or something that will be solved by good discipline.  And to be honest, most children I have come across with ADHD diagnosis are boys.  And they are noticed by their behaviour, often labelled as ‘a nightmare’ from a young age, and often seen as the one child no one wants in their class.

But would you want to teach a girl who works hard to be the teacher’s pet?  Who is top of the class, (well when she tries), and always is polite, keeps the rules and seems a bit shy and daydreamy at times?  Would you even consider or believe she had ADHD?

Are these presentations the same thing? – well yes, both are what ADHD might look like on the outside.  You can have kids with ADHD who are boisterous, chaotic and oppositional, and you can have those that act like the teacher’s pet, even if they are a bit ditzy…okay, a lot ditzy at times.  Inside the brain there are similar things happening.  There’s too much attention – the world is detailed, busy and distracting.  There’s not enough concentration to get through anything that is remotely boring, because the brain doesn’t have enough dopamine to get through it.  ADHD is an hyperactive brain, and in some the hyperactivity plays out in the body, into constant physical movement. In others it can be in hidden movements and tiny fidgets that no-one would notice.  That hyperactivity might be hiding away in their busy brain, creating fantasy lands in that amazing imagination, where you can run, have adventures and be the one to solve all the problems because you think so differently to anyone else.

Because the reality for kids with ADHD is that often the demands in front of them are harder for them than anyone else.

sulky Teenage girl sitting on a chair with mother stood by her with hand on her hip

I have noticed different approaches to the challenge of having to sit still, focus and complete often very boring tasks in ADHD children.   It is so easy to lose interest and focus, especially with all the distractions of other people, the environment and sensory things that catch your attention.

First there are those who just have to move.  And they have been told off so many times that they have lost the will to even try any more. The statement in an ADDItude article that said “by the time they are 12, many ADHD children have heard 20,000 more negative comments about themselves than other children” says it all.  All that negativity can easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy that the child believes about themselves.  I am bad, mad, broken and useless.  So why bother – I might as well be what they are saying I am.

Secondly there are those that daydream it away.  Often the girls, but there will be boys that do this too.  The world is too boring and demanding that you sit still, shut up and focus.  It is much easier and exciting to live in your imagination.  Some children are called liars when these stories spill out into their conversations. When they tell you their tales that are as real to them as your boring daily life.

Thirdly there are the tryers and the maskers.  The ones who don’t understand why things are harder for them than everyone else but hide this at all costs.  They learn to look like they are listening, to look like they know what to do and then work ten times as hard as everyone else to keep up with the work.

adult woman holding hands over face with head down, showing shame. Fingers from all sides pointing at her

Many children with ADHD have rejection sensitivity.  As an adult I can tell you it is a disabling fear of any kind of criticism or even correction.  I have learned how much of a people pleaser it has made me, and although I do think that isn’t all bad, (I think I have a great empathy and love for people because of it)  it does leave you vulnerable to overload, exploitation and mental exhaustion.

I used to think that on my gravestone would be the words

Well, she tried, bless her.

   I tried to pay attention in school and tried to make sure I sat at the front of my classes to help me be less distracted. (Although I could have written hundreds of novels with the stories I ended up daydreaming about).   I tried to do all my homework (when I asked my mum about my childhood, she said I always seemed to be doing school work – she thought I was just very studious, she didn’t realised it took me forever to try and do my work).  I tried to have friends (and always felt awkward and on the outside of the group) and I tried to concentrate in my exams (and only fulfilled my potential in those we had done course work in).

Whether you are supporting an ADHD child who is moving all the time, distracting others and being distracted (driving you to distraction!) or whether you are aware of a quiet, studious child who seems in a daydream and never seems to fulfil their potential (lots of unfinished work, for example) … My plea to you is to know that ADHD children have to TRY more than most other children and all they often get is criticism, sanctions (such as stay in to finish something, when they desperately need that break time) and a lot of negative comments,

Why can’t you just get it finished”, 

“you always ….”

“you’ll never amount to anything if you can’t ….”

So let’s flip this on its head.  How about changing the narrative here.  How about we start looking for things to PRAISE the ADHD child for, especially for any effort they make.  When your brain doesn’t focus the same as other children, then it can be devastating to always only have negative feedback for all the effort you do put in.  And what would make you less inclined to put some effort in than more demands and criticism?

“You’re not quite there…”,

“Just 10 more [boring] questions to go…”

How about we say something positive instead?

Here’s 13 things you can say to encourage rather than nag or criticise for what they can’t help…

  1. You’ve done seven questions… go you! I bet you could do one or two more with your amazing brain!”
  2. “I love how you’ve designed that differently.  What would we need to make it happen?”
  3. “Well done for working so hard on that.  We could speak it into the computer to type it up rather than write it out again.”
  4. “I love the way you listened to that story.”
  5. “You saved all your questions to the end, brilliant.”
  6. “Thank you for giving Fred the time to give his answer.”
  7. “I know that was a bit boring but you persevered, fantastic.”
  8. “You’re imagination is brilliant, let’s get it down on paper before you forget it.  What’s the beginning / first, next, then, last?”.
  9. “That’s a lot to remember, let’s write it on post it notes and your brilliant brain can celebrate each one you manage to get through.”
  10. “We’ll do the first ones together and then you get to be the champion that finishes it off.”
  11. “What a lovely kind thing you just did.”
  12. “You have a lovely sense of humour, let’s collect some jokes in this note book and we can read them together at break time.”
  13. “Your brain works best if we give your body some chances to move, so why don’t we plan some small movement tasks to do between [this work task] and [that work task]…”

One of the things we do know about ADHD now, is that dopamine is lacking in the brain.  This is essential for motivation and feedback in many activities and unless we are aware of this it can be very easy to misunderstand why an ADHD child isn’t doing something you are asking them to do.  As an adult I have been learning about my boredom threshold and how it does all it can to stop me from completing anything.  I’ve taught myself to stimulate the dopamine to help me actually finishing something – by giving myself little rewards when I get something done.   (Sometimes I do a little ‘happy I finished dance’ – I need movement you see!)  Breaking things into smaller chunks and getting positive feedback from my colleagues helps a lot too.   Lots of adults get bored with work tasks, you might say, but with ADHD it is extreme.  I can have this challenge a hundred times a day and I try so hard all the time to overcome it.  I have been lucky (Maybe? At least I wasn’t always in trouble?)  in that I was that teachers pet kind of child.  I was so scared of getting into trouble (rejection sensitivity) that I tried so hard to be good.  I tried so hard to do my work.  I tried so hard to revise and concentrate in my exams.  And I was devastated when I didn’t do so well as I should have done.   You see, I worked harder, and longer and tried harder than most other people I know.  And I wish I had known the reason why back then.

It is strange for me to start writing about ADHD but as I do with autistic children, I aim to help those supporting them understand how it is for them and work from what is positive, affirming and enabling.  It’s just with ADHD, I have some personal experience to draw from too!  Even if my husband still calls me “Lynn half a job!”  (For the record he’s good at finishing what I start around the house – that’s team work!)

Download the poster at the top of this post

picture of the poster to download

Helping Autistic Children with a New Baby

 

Another blog by Sarah Loveridge, one of our specialist teachers.

Change can be scary, especially a big change like a new baby joining the family and ESPECIALLY if you’re autistic. Thankfully, we often have around 9 months to get ready for this change, and autistic children will need as much of this time as possible to prepare for this big transition particularly if they’re currently an only child.

Why is transition hard for autistic children?

Transition is particularly challenging for some autistic children because unpredictability is the enemy. They may do all they can to control situations, because the more they can control, the safer they feel. Transitions can be so distressing for the autistic child and we might only see it in changes to their behaviour because that is the only way they communicate this.

As a result, transition requires a lot more energy (see blog post on spoon theory) as they try and process all the new information coming at them. Here are some reasons why transitions can be difficult:

  • Not being told what the change will involve
  • Now knowing what will be expected of them
  • Not knowing how long it’s going to last
  • Perceived or real sensory challenges
  • Not being given enough time or information to process the changes
  • Being so engrossed or comfortable in what they are doing that they cannot seem to switch attention and move/do something else.

How can I help a smooth transition?

a line of yellow balls each with a different facial expression drawn on them

  1.  Validate their feelings.

However excited we are to introduce a new child into our family, we will all have moments of panic, fear, doubt, worry and confusion too. Sometimes as adults we feel like we should hide these emotions from our children and pretend everything’s fine in order to keep stability and help them feel safe. More often than not, this makes children more anxious as they pick up on our emotions and see us trying to hide them. If, instead, we talk about our emotions and how we’re dealing with them, this allows our children to validate their own turbulent emotions whilst also modelling effective regulation strategies.

Example: “I’m having a moment of panic about baby clothes – we don’t have enough and I have no idea what to buy…but I can’t let Billy see that so I’ll put a smile on my face and worry about it later when he’s gone to bed.”

Alternative example: “Billy, let me explain why I seem a bit flustered and short tempered today; I’m having a moment of panic about baby clothes – we don’t have enough and I have no idea what to buy…I’m going to have to change our routine slightly and use an hour to sit down and make a plan about baby clothes as that will help me feel calmer. Would you like to help me?”

In that alternative example we’ve taught Billy that adults feel uncomfortable emotions too; we’ve validated his uncomfortable emotions by showing that it’s okay to feel and talk about them; and we’ve given him an insight into one of the many strategies we employ as adults all the time just to get through the day.

A set of baby shoes on a blanket

  1. Help them be a part of the process.

The change is coming and there’s nothing they can do about that. But by letting them be part of the planning process, they are able to control little bits about the transition which helps reduce some of the anxiety. Have a think, what could they help you with?

  • Choosing baby clothes
  • Choosing colours/decorations for the baby’s room
  • Choosing a name
  • Buying supplies (eg nappies, baby food)
  • Packing your hospital bag
  • Making a plan for when you’re away
  • Choosing toys

Note: a lot of baby toys are very pleasing sensory-wise – they might be very soft or have a satisfying crinkle. By choosing baby toys with your child, you’re immediately getting rid of any options that might lead to sensory overwhelm/overload eg toys with annoying high-pitched tunes or toys that have an unwanted smell. This also gives you chance to talk through sharing – could you make a box for baby and a box for your other child which has the same toys in so they can both enjoy playing with them at the same time? This encourages your child to play with the new baby without also having to deal with the difficult social skills of sharing, waiting or taking turns.

By letting them be a part of the process we’re helping them work through some of their emotions, giving them a small sense of control and preparing as a family for this big transition.

toddler and bay sleeping together

  1. Identify potential sensory difficulties

We can all think of some of the hardships of a new baby being around – interrupted sleep, noisy screaming/crying, smelly nappies – but for autistic children these sensory challenges can be incredibly overwhelming, especially if they’re not prepared for them. Don’t panic immediately – some children are able to develop tolerance to certain smells and noises but this takes time. Can you turn it into “the baby game” where you practise listening to a crying baby or smelling something similar to a nappy for a few minutes each day to get ready for it? Can you visit a friend or family member who has a baby for a short period of time to start to build some tolerance?

If this is really going to be a problem, it’s also worth thinking carefully about how you can give your autistic child some respite from the sensory challenges of having a new baby in the house. It might be worth creating a quiet baby-free place in your house where they can have their own safe place to go if it gets too much for them.

We worked with an older child whose parents were expecting a new baby. He was very distressed because he was so noise sensitive that the prospect of a baby’s crying hurting his ears was terrifying for him. Writing him a little story about how a family grows, with reassurances that he could go to a quiet place that was just for him when the baby cried, was so helpful. In the end he loved helping care for his little sister, and many years later, the two are good still very friends.

Ensure you’re taking time to chat with your child about what you will find difficult and talk through what strategies you’re putting in place to cope. It might be helpful to put a set time in the diary each week to talk about “baby worries” and “baby affirmations” or maybe you want to use a 10min timer each day to chat through a question they may have in order to regularly talk through challenges and solutions together.

Sensory ideas:

  • Ear defenders
  • Nice smelling things
  • Hand sanitiser/wipes (for using after touching a sticky baby!)

A baby book

4. Use resources

This is particularly helpful if your child is very young and you’ve read through the blog so far thinking “I’m not able to have all of those in-depth discussions with my child – help!” Even very young or pre-verbal children will be able to indicate which toys they like or which smells are difficult so please do try and implement some of the things above, alongside using some of these child-friendly resources to develop understanding.

Discussion around timescales can be helpful, especially relating to one of the reasons mentioned at the beginning about not knowing how long it will last. There are some helpful guides out there which track changes and can give some idea of what milestones babies might hit. Caution: obviously we know that not all babies develop at the same rate and this needs to be clearly explained to your autistic child. We can use these guides as an idea or best guess about when each phase might start/end but it’s best to view this as a science experiment rather than hard fact. See it as a “can we test this book to see if it’s right?” rather than “this book will be right and the baby might be wrong”.

It can also be very therapeutic to go through baby photos with your child of when they were born. Maybe stick some of them on paper to make a life timeline.  You could do this with photos of you as their parents if you have enough photos.  This can help them to understand that a new baby joining the family is a natural process and is a very good thing! It may also be helpful to help them understand the growing process (that the baby will grow into a toddler, child etc). Use photos and magazine pictures to show how we grow and change and explain that this will happen to baby too.

Be honest with them and feel able to say things like: “yes this change can be uncomfortable, yes our routines will be disrupted, yes it will be difficult for all of us at times BUT we love having you! You’ve brought us so much joy and we’re so glad you’re in our family – so let’s try and welcome new baby/child in the same way”.

Social stories can be really helpful when explaining how your autistic child could react in certain situations but BEWARE! Some examples that you find online are too presumptuous  (eg “I will love my baby sister!”) and some can even lead to vulnerability as they teach your child to “do this to please ___”. For more information on how to write effective social stories, why not check out one of our Social Story training courses: https://reachoutasc.com/training/

Finally, a note on adoption

It’s worth mentioning that for some families, you’ll have a slightly different experience of this transition as you go through the adoption process. Again, preparation time and child involvement is key. The tricky thing with adoption is that sometimes it falls through. Whilst it is a natural instinct to want to protect your autistic child from this heartache (which can sometimes happen again and again) it is also worth remembering that a lot of autistic children over-empathise so they’ll be feeling your emotions anyway. If this is the case then talking about it will be helpful in developing their understanding of why you’re feeling that way and will stop them worrying about whether it’s something they’ve done to cause your distress.  

One of the (many!) good things about adoption is that you often get some information about the child before you bring them home so you can show your child pictures, get them used to the name and maybe even meet them a couple of times before they join your family. This can be a really positive way of preparing them for the transition to sibling-hood!  . This is a great website –  https://homeforgood.org.uk/preparing-birth-children

 To sum up…

As with all things for autistic children, it’s never one-size-fits-all. What works for some children in this transition won’t work for others. If you can identify worries or triggers early on, then that gives you a really good starting point for finding some solutions and hopefully some of these ideas will help. The key is always to prepare as early as possible and try and get the child involved as much as possible. And congratulations on your new addition!

Can Social Stories really help autistic young people?

Teaching assistant sharing a story with a boy pupil in a green jumper.

By Lynn McCann author of Stories that Explain

*Social Stories are a Trademark of Carol Gray https://carolgraysocialstories.com

 

As an autism specialist teacher, I have been writing social stories for over 15 years. But I’m the first to admit that social stories can be ineffective, damaging and even dangerous.

The trouble is that many people have heard about Social Stories and mistakenly think they are a tool to sort out misbehaviour, or to get a child to comply with something. These sort of Social Stories are ineffective because they are badly written with no reference to the actual structure and rules created by Carol Gray in the early 1990s for very good reasons.  At best you might have wasted your time and the child and the staff end up feeling that Social Stories are not worth using a tool. Sadly, badly written social stories can also seriously damage a child’s self-esteem or put them in danger.  The relationship with the adults around them can be damaged through them insisting that the child complies with something that is actually very difficult for them to do. The adults’ wrong assumptions can affect the child’s mental health and make them very vulnerable to exploitation. This is a serious matter.

I would always be fair to parents and teaching staff as they are often told by educational psychologists, advisors, autism trainers that they should use Social Stories without being given any training in how to write or even choose a good one from the millions of templates there are out on the internet. Wanting to help, people might search the internet and copy something that they’ve seen online and hope that it will help the child.  Often, what they end up with is a script that breaks all the rules of how to write a good Social Story.

 

These are some of the things that make a script not a Social Story

  • Only talking about negative things;
  • Using language such as must, always, you need to, you will, you must, you have to
  • Assuming how someone will feel;
  • A list of rules or punishments;
  • What you must do to please somewhere else;
  • Explaining how your actions hurt other people and blaming the person for getting it wrong;
  • Insisting that the person understands your point of view;
  • Insisting an autistic person behave in a typical way or trying to make them stop being themselves.

 

A Social Story works really well if first we understand the experience or the issue from the autistic person’s  perspective. Then we write the story in a way that acknowledges this. We use carefully chosen words to explain what we would like to help the person understand in a way that makes sense to them.  Carol Gray’s rules on sentence types allow us to do this. Following her guidance means that we can write good Social Stories consistently and be more certain that there are helpful resource, and not a waste of time.

I have written Social Stories to help autistic children and young people understand many different social situations that they found tricky or confusing. I’ve written stories that help autistic children manage many different anxieties and prepare for new experiences. The topics I have written them about, range from “what happens to poo when it goes down the toilet”, to “why we can use other people’s ideas in our writing and how that helps us know what to write”. I have written about death, loss and fears as well as celebrations, affirmations and how awesomely autistic someone is. You can write Social Stories for very young children, for those who do not use verbal language or cannot read, right through to those who can discuss and consume very complex explanations when they are written in a way that makes sense to them.  I personally write most of my Social Stories with teenagers who are trying to understand the complex world around them.  We have covered politics, gender, revision, relationships, sometimes with a huge dose of humour as we seek to reassure and celebrate the young person’s life and help them navigate through school and beyond.  Their views and aspirations are celebrated and often by this age, we write the account together so it is for them and with them.

In my book, Stories that Explain

https://www.ldalearning.com/product/communication-and-interaction/autistic-spectrum-condition/teaching-resources/stories-that-explain/admt14158

I shared over 60 social story templates for primary age children, that could be edited to support common situations that we have found our autistic young people have had to deal with over the years.  Each one takes account of the sensory and communication differences as well as explaining the situation to help them understand it better. We write coaching sentences which helps a child make choices about what they can do in each of those situations.

I’m really passionate about teaching other people how to write good Social Stories… and we regularly put courses on to teach people to do just that.  Keep an eye on our UPCOMING TRAINING PAGE for dates, or invite me to do training for your school, group or organisation.   The course is open to everyone, at a reasonable cost and in the three hours I’ll take you through the rules, show you examples and then you’ll have a go at writing a story with my tutelage.  I intend to give you all the skills you need to be able to go away and write your own social stories for the children, young people and even adults that you support.

This course is suitable for parents, school staff, and volunteers and carers. We can do it online or in person, so that people from anywhere can join us, and you will also receive a pack of story examples, the handout from the training and some helpful tip sheets so that you can continue to write the best Social Stories.

(Social Stories can be written for children, young people and adults so whichever service or age of person you work with, this course is for you).

How can I help autistic pupils develop more independence in learning tasks?

an adult working with children in a classroom

By Sarah

One of the most common issues we come across when going into schools is children struggling to work without constant prompting.  This can be for a variety of reasons including (but not exclusively) fear of failure, difficulty getting started (the dreaded blank page problem!), distractions in the environment around them, trouble understanding the work or lack of motivation/sense of purpose. Another key factor is that a lot of the children we work with have had a 121 TA with them for years. Often, they haven’t had to ever sit and work by themselves and as a result, they can become dependent on the constant prompts that they are used to.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that some children really do need specific support.  There are many TAs (and teachers) out there are doing their best to help autistic children succeed. You’re all great and you hold schools together – we know this. But what is increasingly common – with expectations for both children and teaching staff becoming increasingly pressurised – is that we as the adults also have a fear of failure when trying to support children’s learning. If they don’t do enough work, our work ethic is scrutinised. If they don’t answer all the questions, our ability is questioned. If they lack motivation, our motivations must be lacking.

So, when you read these suggested strategies please know that they are written from a place of understanding and empathy. They are options, advised tactics, and potential ideas in your toolbox which may work some days but not on other days. They may work wonderfully for Child A but get Child B absolutely nowhere. We know that autism is never one-size-fits-all but hopefully some of these strategies will at least start a conversation about how we can begin to develop some of this much-needed independence in our children (whether autistic or not!)

It is also worth reading the research from the Education Endowment Foundation on the best use of TAs which we discuss in our TA mentoring course.  We think about how we might enable children to think for themselves when faced with a problem and how we might sit back and give them that thinking time, whatever the pressures around us to get on with it are.

diagram of 5 different ways to intervene to help more independence when TA s work with children

From p15

It’s also worth noting that you may be a parent reading this who is home-schooling through choice or necessity. As we go through, I’ll try to suggest ways that this can be adapted for a home environment too, as many of these strategies will be helpful as children try and complete homework or house chores too.

 How can we support autistic children to work independently?

  1. Environment

One of the main struggles for children trying to work in a classroom (or hectic home environment) is the constant distractions around them. They have all the best intentions to sit and focus on their work but somebody is talking nearby, a bird just flew past the window, their seat is uncomfortable and someone just started using the hand dryer after flushing the toilet. Start by checking what your child needs.

  • Ear defenders or putting music on (either out loud or with headphones on) may drown out some other auditory distractions and help them focus.
  • A stability cushion or weighted blanket over their legs may help children feel grounded and calm, enhancing their ability to focus.
  • Sitting alone or further apart from others may be useful, especially if they have a chatty or fidgety table partner/sibling!

Workstations

In order to cut out some of these distractions (especially the visual ones) you could put up a cardboard box around the edge of their table to create a workstation. This creates a wall without making them sit facing a wall and the great thing is that it’s portable. Need it for Maths? Pop it up. Don’t need it during group work in English? Take it down. If you want it to be a more permanent fixture then of course you can leave it up on their own table but it’s nice to have the option. This is useful for parents who want to make it clear to their children when it’s homework time and when it’s playtime. If the workstation is up, it’s time to work. Take it down and the message is clear – work time is finished.

Within the workstation, you may want to personalise it with the child’s name or a couple of pictures but don’t let the workstation get too cluttered. Only get out the resources they need for that lesson – you don’t need every workbook and word mat on display all the time. Cut out the clutter and keep it simple, otherwise it may become a distraction in and of itself!

A cardboard screen with trays to put work to do and finished work in

With all our strategies we recommend that you do them with the child. Please don’t suddenly set it up one Monday morning as a “surprise” – this often doesn’t go down as well as we’d hope! Autistic children often find change difficult, struggle to cope with the unpredictable and many of them have deep seated anxiety and self esteem issues. If you suddenly give them their own table with a workstation all set up without any prior warning they may just end up confused, worried and might even feel like it’s a punishment because they haven’t been working hard enough. Take the time to talk about it with them first, explain that we’re going to give it a go to see if it helps them focus and show them pictures of adult workstations so they recognise that it’s a lifelong strategy that they can use (not anything baby-ish or patronising) like this:

various examples of wall mounted storage and organisation ideas.

photos from Pinterest

 

Let’s leave workstations for now but I’ll come back to them later…

For more info on sensory support check out this blog: https://reachoutasc.com/what-is-a-sensory-diet-and-how-do-i-implement-one-in-my-busy-classroom/

2. Chunking

I don’t know about you but I have a list for just about everything: chores, holiday packing, meal ideas – you name it, I have a list for it. Why do we do it? Often, it’s because our brain appreciates us breaking things down into smaller chunks. It helps us to process what needs doing, things seem more manageable and we get a sense of achievement every time we cross something off. Our aim with the next strategy is to do the same thing with school work. Especially as children get older, they are given whole worksheets full of information or questions and it can be difficult for autistic children to know which bit to focus on first or how to process it all effectively. By breaking it down, we’re making this tricky task a little bit more manageable. It also helps to keep it visual – how many times do you have to give an instruction to tidy their room? Writing it down gives autistic children something to refer back to, thus building independence (and saving your sanity) as you point them back to the visual instead of repeating the instruction.

Work schedules

These are so easy to adapt and personalise for your child, depending on what their interests are, how old they are and how easy/difficult they currently find independent working. The aim is simple – complete short, manageable tasks to work towards a quick, motivational reward. The aim is to keep it visual and work with whatever attention span the child has in order to tick things off. Rather than trying to push them through a big long list of tasks, the work schedule breaks it down into short bursts of productivity with regular breaks in between, supporting them with that visual reminder. 

chart outlining 4 steps to a task with car pictures

 I used this example with a Reception child who couldn’t process more than one instruction at a time. We started with “one instruction = reward” and over time we built it up to following “two instructions = reward” and so on. Does it require patience? Yes. Is it slightly more time consuming to write down/draw the instruction? Yes. But does the child build independence? Yes.

work schedule chart with football pictures. Titles, first, nest, last and sensory activityThis second example is for a child in year 2 who initially loved monster trucks and football! After two weeks of using this, he decided that actually he loved Minecraft more than anything else in the world. No problem – we simply stuck pictures of Minecraft over the other photos and the work schedule was back in business. For this child, he was able to manage 2 or 3 tasks before getting a quick reward. He still needed lots of modelling and scaffolding to begin with but over time, as he became moreImage comfortable and familiar with it, his independence grew.

Note: the reward doesn’t have to be time-consuming or lots of extra work for you. I worked with a year 1 child who loved those little pop up toys so for her, this was a super motivational reward. (We wrote all our numbers to 15 and read a whole reading book in 20mins just by using a 1-step work schedule with the pop up toy as a reward each time).

This third example was used with a child in year 6 who loved the NYPD. When I went back for my first visit after giving them the work schedule his unfiltered autistic honesty shone through as he told me straight up “oh, we never use that!” Goooood. It turns out he was being asked to get through all of morning challenge, all of English, and all of Maths before he got a reward. This is just too much! We want to use this resource to break everything down into little chunks so that the reward is always within reach. Waiting almost 3 hours for a reward may be attainable for children who are already pretty independent or have used a work schedule for a while but as a first step it was too big a jump. For this child, it was also helpful to give him some rules for the reward so that it wasn’t distracting and difficult for others around him. He chose to play a game on the iPad as his reward so we agreed the rules with him and stuck them on his table. Again, visual support and an active discussion helped this strategy to succeed. We don’t want children to feel confused or out of control; these strategies are supposed to help them!

  1. Organisation

One thing that can hinder independence is not having the right thing at the right time. Your child may be very capable of writing 3 sentences in one go…if only they could find their pencil. Or maybe your child could sit and focus for the whole lesson on their maths problems…if only they knew where their worksheet was. One of the benefits of using these strategies is that we’re not only getting work done (hopefully!), we’re also teaching them life skills. If they are able to organise themselves and independently find the relevant equipment/worksheet then they’re well on the way to being successful in life, as well as their potential academically.

Workstation + work schedule

For the ultimate combo, use the two strategies together. You could laminate the work schedule and stick it up on one of the workstation walls. Alternatively, cut the work schedule into strips and put each strip in an envelope for children to open. You could use a magazine folder or tray to put the “to-do” work in so it’s clear what still needs to be done. Make sure you have a finished tray or folder. This helps children to stay organised, gives a focus/purpose to the task and also helps them feel a sense of accomplishment as that tray fills up throughout the lesson or day.

child reading a book with a timer showing 10 minutes.

For some children, it may be helpful to use these strategies alongside a timer. Instead of saying “task one: complete maths question one” it might be more helpful to say “task one: work on maths for 2mins”. This gives children something to aim for, especially if you know that they’re going to really struggle to complete maths question one without any support from you. After their 2mins of trying independently, then you can go and help them – but we’re still building resilience through encouraging them to have a go on their own first. Timers can also be helpful to ensure that rewards don’t go on forever! Again, explain to the child that the aim here is to get work down so we can proud of ourselves/learn more etc etc. Be honest with them – “I know you could just turn the timer over again and tell me you didn’t but I’m going to leave it with you and trust that you’ll make the right decision”. It can be a little scary to put the power in their hands but let’s give them the chance to surprise us and make a BIG deal if/when they make the right choice. Note: Give them more than one chance to make the right decision here. Don’t be afraid to call them out if you spot them giving themselves extra reward time, but talk to them about how these strategies are to help teach them life skills and let them know that you’ll give them another chance. How often do we get second chances in life when we mess up? Let’s talk to our kids about that too so they know that we’re on their side, cheering them on and willing them to succeed!

4. Quick ideas

Just before I finish, here are 8 ideas for quick, motivational rewards. It doesn’t need to be rocket science – just find something that your child really gets on board with. Ask them, give them options, and encourage them to take ownership of it. Note: If your child doesn’t use speech you can still ask them what they would like.   Use visuals to support communication and still seek to include them in these decisions.

  1. Pop up toy (as mentioned before – a winner with several of the children I work with)
  2. Sensory items (helpful for those kids who have sensory needs anyway – this helps keep their body alert in between work periods. Note: Be careful that you don’t withhold these from children that need them to stay regulated during the day! They are more necessary for some children than others.)
  3. iPad (simple yet effective. Decide rules together about what games they can play, whether they need to use headphones, where they need to use it etc)
  4. Book (some kids will love retreating to the book corner for 5 mins – rewards can be educational too!)
  5. Music (this can be a really lovely way for kids to de-stress if they can listen to a soothing piece of music or their favourite song in between tasks)
  6. Drink of water (yes – it can be this simple! This may be good for those kids who want/need to stretch their legs or have a wriggle – let them walk to the water fountain in between tasks.)
  7. Lego (if children are only allowed to build for 1 or 2 mins in between tasks why not challenge them to see how much they can build by the end of the day? This can be a very satisfying and motivational way to get work done.)
  8. Drawing/colouring (lots of children find the mindfulness colouring sheets very therapeutic and relaxing which can be especially useful if they’re finding the work stressful and difficult)

It will probably take time for both you and your autistic child to get used to these strategies. Give it a couple of weeks minimum before giving up, and keep explaining to the child what you’re hoping to get out of it. If they’re not on board then it’s not to going to work – but it might take some time to process how it works.  Building independence is best done through cooperation with the child so they can enjoy their progress. Knowing when to ask for help and knowing that they can help others is part of that too. So keep going! You’ve got this.

You can find out many more ways of supporting autistic children in primary schools with our CPD accredited courses at Schudio TV.  This is a great one to start with https://www.schudio.tv/courses/supporting-autistic-learners-primary    (only £24 individually or get all our courses for only £12 a month as a Getting It Right member)