An Autistic Angle on Preparing Children for Secondary School

By Josh Collins (part of the Reachout ASC team)

A picture of Josh in the foreground with four of his friends, standing by a wall with trees in the background

Here I am with some of my friends.

It amazes me to think that it has been 8 years since I left high school and 13 years since my first day. I can’t help but think about how different of a time high school was for me, not just now, but when I was about to start back as a 10-year-old. Despite many efforts to prepare me for high school, there were still a lot of struggles that I experienced, especially earlier on in my high school life. 

Here, I will be sharing how I would have done things differently as well as what I would have done the same. 

Normalise that big jump 

Big life events always come sooner than you think. When I started year 6, choosing my high school seemed irrelevant, it felt like years away. Of course, as time drew nearer, I was still surprised that high school started at the time it did. That’s not to say no preparation was done, but it didn’t quite hit the mark. 

Although the transition from year 7 to 8 was equally as significant, as was the massive leap from that to preparing for my GCSEs, high school is the first time for many that a shift in academic lifestyle takes place. The commute is very different, a lot of pupils will likely be travelling a much farther distance than they were for primary school. Friends and social groups are torn apart when high schools are fighting for pupils and pupils are fighting for spaces. Routine is different, the high schools are much bigger, there are more margins for error, and teachers and parents will often play up the changes in a way that makes the change scarier than it actually is. What works for me as an autistic person is normalising the change as much as possible, as well as focusing on what will be staying the same as this happens. At the end of the day, everyone will be there to alleviate the worst parts of this transition, and autistic people are capable of making those changes, with the right support. Every child feels like the next step beyond them when it isn’t, and every child needs to be made aware of that change is possible. Lend an ear to concerns, plan together, and do something fun. 

From A to B, sort out your transportation needs

As an autistic person, even now, I recognise one dry run is not enough to feel confident enough to make my way to and from school on the bus. When I applied for my most recent job, I made at least 2 or 3 journeys just to make sure I was there on time for the interview. For me, I found that no matter what mode of transport you are taking, that the one practice attempt at getting there was never sufficient. Every morning journey is going to be slightly different, and being sensitive to change, it has always been beneficial for me to get the feel of a route and plan ahead if anything was to change drastically. It was all about learning the mean average route. Of course, you can pick it up on the way, but there is the stress of getting it all horrifically wrong. My dad had to take me on the first day after missing the bus and arriving an hour late. Of course, this meant that I missed an hour of introductions and breaking the ice as well. There is no shame if it takes you longer than usual to get used to certain routes and so on. If you can, get a lift or find a friend who you can shadow if you are going to the same school (or an older sibling or cousin). I was the oldest, so I missed out on that.  Practice makes something more predictable. 

Ask for the adjustments you need and find systems that help

I was always forgetting things at school, and although there was the option of having a locker, I knew that I would forget the key when I needed it most. One of the most helpful things my first school did for me was a box that I could access containing stationery, spare ties, exercise books, and miscellaneous items that I needed at school. If your child would find an arrangement like this useful, then talk to the SENCO of your school. I avoided many detentions this way, and hopefully your child would too. 

It’s worth having a sit down and looking at what helps others and seeing ways in which this could help you as well. 

Be extra (ordinary/curricular)

Whether it was primary school, high school, college, and even university, balancing extracurriculars were always a difficulty. I would either take part in no clubs or societies or simply too many. In high school, this was something I received awards for, and I am glad I had the chance to do many, but with being prone to burnout, I would find myself in bed for days in half term just to recuperate. Alternatively, FOMO and regret set in. I found that 2/3 extracurriculars were a good balance for me, one I really set my heart on, and 2 others that I did not put as much energy into. Any more than that, depending on how these commitments clashed or didn’t clash with each other.  Some autistic students can feel that clubs and extracurricular activities are not for them, or too scary to even try.  But I would really recommend trying some.  You just might find your friendship group there as you will be mixing with people who like the same things are you. 

Find out what clubs are available from the schools that are being considered as well as clubs for children in the local area. See how they can fit the activity to your specific needs, anyone can do anything with the right accommodations after all. 

Don’t be afraid to try things out that don’t sound great at first, or if it’s something your friend is doing and you’re not super into it. I have converted to many hobbies just because a friend was doing it, and I wanted to hang out with them. Even if you show up once, you have got out of your comfort zone, you will feel that much more confident in yourself. 

Conclusion

Lots of things are happening at this point in your life. It can be overwhelming, the fear of slipping up is real. The way I reassure myself is by thinking about how many people make this transition every year and have done, and how they all made it out the other end. With the right preparation, it won’t be a matter of survival, but rather flourishing. 

Links

Reachout ASC have developed our Social Detective packs, based on teaching autistic and other children about how we cooperate and understand each other, how we listen to one another and how we learn to read social information to make the best guesses about what is going on.  For more information or to order a pack go to https://reachoutasc.com/resources/social-skills-pack/